Ever heard:
– Don’t cry you’ll be alright.
– Why can’t we all just get along?
– Just be happy.
– Good vibes only.
– Don’t worry, you’ll get over it.
– You’re so negative.
– Just push through it, and you’ll be fine.

I have an issue with this because personally, it makes me feel invalidated… it feels a bit gaslighty, I’m not sure about how it makes you feel.

When positivity doesn’t quite fit a situation it can send the message that the way the other person feels is wrong.

This can actually make people feel worse, adding shame to what they’re already experiencing.

The allowance of emotion into a space where it is respected and held with love creates safety, builds trust, and deepens connection.

Here are some red flags I’ve noted because I’m all about doing the groundwork and sharing for healing purposes:

* Experiencing pressure to feel a certain way around someone.
* Feeling dismissed.
* Feeling belittled.
* Inappropriateness – Context is everything, and not all situations warrant a positive spin.
* Hiding authentic self.
* Suppressing emotion and quietly holding resentment for it.

— Healthy positivity is grounded in acceptance — when we believe that even though things may be tough right now, not everything is bad and things can change for the better.

— Toxic positivity is based in denial — where we won’t acknowledge how tough things really are and we only allow the bright side view.

SUPPRESSION of emotion is so bad for our health! I can’t ever say this enough.

All parts of you belong.

Fearful, worried, unsafe, scared, upset, playful, happy, grieving, joyful, stressed, depressed, anxious, angry.

These parts of us are ALLOWED to express and are a valid part of our experience.

Go where it makes sense for you, go where you are validated and can heal.

Also, go where you can be told the truth because if you tend to get into a negative victim spin people that respect you and your process will gently remind you.

That sucked, it’s ok to feel it, what do you need, can I help, now what?

Jessie