I crack open in pain and gratitude, One without the other cant take you to the depths of where I am going. To the depths of me.
I don’t know if anyone else can get there, I don’t know if I can explain the experience of it… Not a place that’s chased… A place left underneath until there is nowhere else to go
The places that excite and scare me, All within me.
All are accessed via waves of emotion. Sometimes floating peacefully on the surface and Other times attached like an anchor diving into the deepness.
The places that scare me. I visit anyway.
There is nothing to lose. There is nothing to gain. Its melody is its own untouched beauty. Opening by light filtering through piercing the burdens.
And I am reminded at this depth that I am water, I shed tears and know I am shedding a part of me.
This doesn’t happen outside the places that scare me. To places I knew I was going and willingly threw myself into it.
That part is hungry to rid the anger blame and pain on my shoulders. What I carried before doesn’t define me, but it is part of my very cells being set free.
Knowing the depths of my shadow shows me the depth and capacity of light I am able to hold. Holding my light. Cracking wider open.
Feeling everything at a new depth; The joy of love experienced and the sorrow for our dying earth. I shed more water from my eyes. And I become less me.
More air and fire. Wild flames dancing free in the wind.
Dying and Rebirthing and Returning to Earth, Lightly.
Settling into the vast depths of a new reality within. Present. Home. Awake.
Always Changing. Always Changing.
Aho.
