Potential VS Reality is something I talk about a-lot!

It’s a time now when our own lessons deepen and it’s beautifully painful to see more.

There’s an old part of me that had seen the potential and stayed in a situation longer than needed, usually at the cost of myself – and this behaviour is now dead.

I choose for it to be this way. Why?

Good people are everywhere.

Sometimes good people (with the good girl or good boy behaviour that goes with it) are severely wounded and acting from people pleasing alone which means they will ALWAYS resent YOU later for their own lack of boundaries and not knowing their own needs – they do it without knowing why but making up stories to serve their feelings.

It can be a sad wounded world to live in and experience projection on this level so i no longer am here in a way to be giving my energy or time away to potential.

I see past just the good and what would ‘be so nice if what i wanted to see to be true’ and i look to reality. Which can be painful.

I ask – Can this person hold me, see me and be with me how i can show up for them? How is the energy exchange?
Can these people i choose to be around see reality too?
Will they call me out kindly?
Can i be myself, is it safe, is there masks?
Will there be growth?
Do they inspire me?

What we allow for ourselves helps other people learn, if i allow someone in my life to live in a state of lacking boundaries because they mean well – i end up feeling unsafe, i end up being told ‘you are too hard’ or ‘just relax’.

Then good chance… i end up triggered.

Learning this many times over i wondered how can some people see i have boundaries around respecting myself and the abuse I’ve been through and i can feel so safe with them.

And others just think i am overreacting and ‘should’ be different, more accepting of gaslighting and unknowing as to how to hold me when that unsafety sets me off.

This requires people to meet their own wounding, their own self work and look at whats beneath the surface and some are not ready. And it is a waste of energy trying to make that happen.

It doesn’t serve ANYONE to sit and wait OR enable.

I sit in reality and from reality i am met with willingness, openness to what is and no behaviours that take energy.

Jessie