Remembering 🍃

Sometimes I forget about the things that happened to me- until I see it all playing out from the same self that is wildly capable of so much freedom.

Each time I catch it, I learn; To come back and Love those parts well.

All parts belong.

I forget that the amount of rejection I’ve experienced has beautifully shown me to choose my worth from the inside.

I forget the sacrifice and responsibility I have encountered have helped me survive things I thought might take me from this world.

My annoyed and fiery side has helped me only see truth through the pain and given me the drive I needed to stand strong and choose to do hard things.

The despair and failure I have felt at the bottom of so many falls has taught me to dust it off. Live again.
And to live again well.

The exhaustion has moved me slowly and it lays me to rest in a depth of stillness I would never have chased without feeling so tired.

The remembering so overwhelmingly urges me to LOVE.

That to be in service is to choose to be love.
And to ask what would love do.

To be in this messy life I mess so well, vulnerable within all the strength I have cultivated through experience.

You know what?

There is pain in being vulnerable but it’s so beautiful.

And in the remembering, I can feel there is in fact so much more pain in living closed and it is not free.

I choose to have my heart open and bleeding love everywhere. Pain opens it. Whoever said it was painless to open?
This is the biggest act of courage, it’s way beyond what I have ever had to face. This is the work.

Rather than my joy, love and heart safely closed off in the confines of any place that doesn’t scream freedom and living fully.

I’ve been closed and scared for what feels like lifetimes – that’s the place that really f’#king scares me. There’s no looking back.

I’m still here, thanking pain for the extended learnings of compassion that help me crack through suffering with a giggle …

Ahhhh Life.

Welcome the new.
Always.
Open.

Jessie