The whirlwind of having nothing at all to having it all. Then to give it all up in just one moment in the name of evolution.
“The most exquisite paradox… As soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than you ever dreamed possible.” – Ram Dass
I want to speak into this paradoxical law of the universe that seems to be this sweet blend between control and surrender over having what it is you want. Or what it is you think you want.
Right on the edge of having what you desire, what feels like a yes and a safe little place to land, on the edge of that looking out is the unknown.
Always past the edge, there is a sense of new territory being entered usually with fear showing up creating a pull back to the known which throws hurdles and blocks from places so deeply ignored sometimes you won’t know it’s happening.
Nonetheless, this process is giving you a chance to learn through multiple attempts to cross the threshold into the unknown where you do know somewhere deep down that magic can really happen here, all we have to do is get out the way. Sounds easy right?
From that place of controlling what is, or has been and living from what we know to surrender and allow that sweet blend of both to enter in an open awareness to it all is the place where surrender really comes to land. Sometimes drifting in gently, other times landing like a derailing train that was going full speed ahead.
It is possible that between control and surrender we float, learning what’s needed for our evolutionary layers to unfold, and this floating between can be an allowing until there is clarity, or maybe it is clear and it’s just a path not yet walked therefore hard to accept.
Whatever your journey is to this place I believe we all arrive in this exquisite paradox of being on the edge of growth and having to make a call, a call that’s heard places we haven’t answered before, a calling that is felt beyond ourselves, one that when seen, felt and known is hard to live with the same way until you go past that edge and into where it is leading you.
A call that makes the old way all of a sudden undoable or unworkable.
Trust is so closely linked to surrender and I believe our imagination can sometimes be so limited that we create dreams and aspirations to limited thinking, feeling, knowing, imagining, and being, when we do finally reach something we thought was never possible or real we are immediately on this edge looking out to scary, wonderful, ever asking growth.
Fear wants to close the eyes so hard shut that you feel the fight in every cell of your body resembling distraction, confusion, and a halt to progressing.
Whereas trust and surrender show up past the fear, through sudden unexpected changes, frustration, joy, struggle, sickness, being in a deep black hole and not being able to take your own behavioral loops and patterns anymore.
It shows up as that knowing and a feeling of now needing to be leaning into yourself, honoring yourself, and when it shows up, however it shows up, it is a direct message.
Surrender is being so tired of doing things a certain way, it’s showing up because you’re willing to give it up.
Surrender is letting go because holding on now hurts way too much.
Surrender is that voice that keeps you on path and asks you to give up what you desire because there is a feeling of more in store for you.
Surrender is not knowing what exactly it is you must do but making one shift in that certain direction.
Surrender is key to evolution.
Surrender is hard work.
In surrender is your truth.
What will you lay down to follow your absolute inner truth and knowing? This shows the wonderful workings of the universe that we trust and when you lay it all down you can have whatever you want, need and more.
What are you willing to ignore and stay in a state of controlling for? What is it costing you to hold on?
What if there are two clear paths and both are really beautiful? Then the question is how do you stay in awareness and travel down one with knowledge of the other with your heart open, and being so ready to jump off the edge of either path for the rightness of your own being and experience this lifetime toward honoring your evolution.
We need to start thinking of the price we pay for the lack of surrendering in our life. We need to at least begin to lay down things that no longer serve our highest of good.
I for one will be the first to admit this is not always an easy feat but I stay committed to the practice of it, I can no longer pay the price for holding on because I promised myself I wouldn’t ever do that again. I stay true to myself because of the total sense of wholeness that lives here within me residing deep into and past this physical body.
Even though it seems to be harder each layer that unfolds, the deeper I go the bigger the lessons.
The more that unfolds, the more I feel is asked of me to let go. The more I let go the more beauty and joy I experience all around me. The more I shift the more the world shifts, and in these shifts, we break patterns that run deep down our ancestral lineage, we clear the way within ourselves to feel and discover our purpose, to experience connection beyond ourselves, we allow ourselves to lay the ego down and surrender up what is known to have all that we really need…
what a paradox it really is that all we have to do is let it all go first.
My advice is to start small. Look at the little things, the little knowings like “I know I shouldn’t be on my phone before bed because I’d be sleeping better”, and just like that turn your phone off and begin the practice of not doing it.
Start small but just start.
And sense the beauty in surrender alongside the fear. Sense it’s all here just for you right now.
Know that if you let it all go, you can have it all.
Yours currently in a bitter-sweet beautiful experience with surrender,
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