A Convenience Store

“How can I help you?”
A question she once actioned at the cost of herself —- Too many times.

“How could we help each other”?
Seemed another world away…

So did saying “No”! Or,
“What do you need from me so I can feel if I’ve got the capacity for that”?

A bit hard when you do not consider self.
And she knew deep down —- it felt like sadness in a back row seat.

Ride this life or Fade away.
These moments haunted and graced her world frequently.
Over and over she lost it all.
Every time dusting it off,
Starting again.

Start.. again…
She rolled up her sleeves. She had to!
“Fu’k it”! She declared.
By the beach where salty night air swept the smoke of fire north,
Friends help her burn the remnants of her old life—- boxes of it!
Tequila in her hand. Burn it all.
She. Was. Done.

She dove into the work after a promise to herself was made,
From the darkest pit of pain within she felt where her heart might have been.

And she left herself behind again, but this time in a good way…

Self-esteem found and liberated her to a freedom unheard of.
What a paradox —- Pain opened her up!

She was closed for far too long.

She IS present and listening now
She will see and honor herself and you, equally.

And she has so much wholesome, clear love bursting from her.
And she can give you as much as you need without it costing her a damn thing…

That pit of pain it might bring will only open her — she gets more from loving.

She gives love freely
But she does not give herself like that

Anyone want to walk in to grab what they need and go
Like she is a convenience store
She cant be interested
Because… It’s not interesting

If you want to take up time and space
Show up with her
Show her some soul
See it mirrored back
Walk with her —- beside her.
Be still with her — sit a while.

She can no longer entertain convenience when it comes to connection.

She won’t sway from soul honoring integrity,

Not after it took so much pain to find it.

She is going the other way.

The doors to access such spacious love are always open —- just don’t block the doorway or waltz in like you want a packet of chips and a soda.


About Jessie Moss Healer

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