Your time is the most valuable gift.
Your energy is the most valuable currency.

When it’s not safe to set boundaries there is still work we can do energetically around it.

Boundaries don’t need to be a big scary statement to the world, like everything else we learn by practice and starting with where it’s okay for our nervous system to expand into while being mindful there may be triggers present.

A decade ago I emerged from a long-term abusive relationship where I had to learn boundaries to get myself to safety and I was terrified of asking for what I needed, I was in so much fear to leave. In this case, I saw boundaries as a dangerous thing that only ended up in punishment for me. So I first taught myself to set them within myself and be with the energy of it.

Boundaries can be inward, what we will and won’t tolerate, and how we want to respond to certain behaviour.

Boundaries are also accountability for self.

Boundaries help others to feel safe around us, even though boundaries might piss some people off. (Especially if we have been enabling people to walk all over us).

Discerning what we need is the first step, seeing where we can take accountability follows then deciding how we will show up to honour ourselves and others in the process of learning.

To create a world that feels safe we need boundaries set from open hearts and perhaps some flexibility to the boundaries for different occasions, but we must do the work to arrive past the harsh, rigid, angry boundary vibe into a way where we are heard and respected in the delivery because its for the good of us and others.

Boundary setting is a skill.

We don’t need to give others more than they deserve because we have an old program that defaults to niceness.

We choose where our energy goes.
We choose if we are a safe person for others or an enabler.

Remember there is a difference between being nice and being kind.

Niceness forgets themselves, enables and over gives. Nice isn’t safe.

Kindness can heal and change the world by saying and doing the hard things without enabling, with stating “i matter too”.

Live your truth by knowing the energy you want to operate within and live there fully.

Jessie