If experiences in life have asked you to cover your sensitivity with hardness you will experience pain.

If your experiences have taught you to hyper-attune to people and forget yourself, there will be pain.

If trauma has taught you that tending to everyone’s needs and using your sensitivity in a way where you please others but can’t express it when you need to then you won’t feel safe. (more pain).

Not having a place to exist where your sensitivity is accepted, understood, and not taken personally by others does not feel safe whether you are aware of it or not.

Maybe you call it anxiety, maybe you call yourself too much, maybe you have never had an experience where people don’t expect you to benefit them and forget yourself yet.

If this resonates with you as it has with me the way out is also painful, it’s painful because you have to learn to choose what is right for you and this means you lose the life you have, you lose people and you have to sit in the grief and pain of how many times you lost yourself because you wanted to feel accepted, understood and to feel like you belong.

So when you go to choose yourself and you have tendencies to blame yourself first every time, to over fix and find solutions, to make everyone happy in the process…

Stop. Write down your values, your needs, and what’s on your heart.

It’s not selfish to think about yourself too, so be prepared to sit in some guilt.

It isn’t healing to stay stuck and dismissive of what your truth is.

The tendency to people please at the cost of self one day becomes no longer tolerable, and you will sit back and watch life rearrange itself.

Know yourself well, and be curious about your needs – this is where it starts.

What are you choosing?
What do you want to bring forward with you?
Are you prepared to grieve your old life and let go?
Can you sit in guilt when you can’t show up or please everybody?

Much Love

Jessie